life

sometimes i relyy like to just thinkk to myself, look at my surroundings, and really just soakk it all in, and just really see shit, and wen i do that i fuond out i have no friends, i men i got ppl that i hang out with, and go places withh, but there relyy not there for me. im by myself on most of my days,weeks,months etc. Everyybody has there own little friend that theyy have,& i dont. it just makes me thinkk...why bother withh ppl if they dont care.cause truelly its like that.i meen i dont have a girlfriend, and everytime i did have a girlfriend it was long distance kinda sorta. so im in thiss world all by myself. im an only child. the ppl around me wudnt care if i was there or not. the ppl i tought cared never did. only need u wen there friends are fully busy then niggas wanna hit u up like wats good. but w.e i dont listen i just let it flow thru my ears. i never really do anything with anyone. i meen ill call ppl to have a companion to go to this place but its not like theyy call me in returnn. im also the type of person thats like that. call u once u nvr call bakk ight nigga fuk u, but its really weird to me how i act then i think about it, its purely for no type of reason. cuz nothing comes out of it. i meen so many ppl tell me they care but at the very end of it all whos there?. exactlyy not the ones that said they care, there the ones to leave u firstt. i have gotten very close to ppl, but that was a little period in time. i dont havv fuk buddies like every other dude. i dont hang out wit too many dudes maybe a cuple.but overal im on the shit myself.my true friend is myself as weird as that sounds, my conscience talks to me..not even on some psychopathic type shit, its just i hav an active conscience thats really awares me of my surroundingss. i also come to think why ever say hi to ppl..if not gunna say hi every time u see me then fuk u. dont bother tlkin to me.cuz its just more shit i have to think about if u get my floww. i have no friends. i have cuple asociates the restt are just there. and thats something im perfectlyy fine with, i like the fact that im so pickyy i'll go single for like 2 years, i liek the fact that im pickyy that it'll take me a good 45 minutes to decide on a shirt to buyy. i like all these parts about me, why? cuz no one ever made them apart of me..i made myself, so that means nobody's ever gunna fukin break me. also this is kinda deep thought type ishh....so as i sayy welcome to my mind